By Alisha Woodall
Kaswine called the number listed on the Google Ad and reached FirstLook’s medical receptionist who was ready and trained to answer the hard question: “How much is an abortion?” The medical receptionist emotionally connected with Kaswine and redirected her to the counseling services FirstLook provides and scheduled an appointment.
Kaswine had just started school to become a radiology tech, but she quit school before she came to her FirstLook appointment because all she could think about was what she was going to do with this baby. She was so conflicted she couldn’t function until she had some kind of resolution in her life.
Kaswine arrived early for her appointment prepared to change her life forever, all to appease the pressure she was receiving from her boyfriend who said he wasn’t ready to become a dad. Bonnie, a FirstLook Client Coordinator, was careful not to be judgmental and went over the options candidly and impartially. Bonnie wanted Kaswine to feel free to make her own choice, especially since she knew Kaswine was abortion-minded.
When Bonnie began educating her on the abortion option, Kaswine started crying. Bonnie stopped at once and said, “Talk to me about how you’re feeling.”
Kaswine answered, “It sounds very violent. I am a Christian, and I don’t think God would have me do this to my baby. What scares me is if this had been an abortion clinic like I thought it was, I would be getting an abortion right now.”
Bonnie asked, “Do you think you really would have?”
She looked up at Bonnie and whispered, “Yes,” blinking back more tears.
The ultrasound was also an emotional experience for Kaswine. Her baby girl was 15 weeks and 5 days old with feet kicking and hands waving.
“Look, the baby’s waving at you, Mom!” the nurse said. Kaswine had tears rolling down her cheeks as she stared at the monitor watching her tiny baby.
Bonnie asked Kaswine what she was feeling, and she answered without taking her eyes off the screen, “I’m feeling it is a real baby.”
Bonnie then gave Kaswine the decision guide worksheet to fill out to help her to see on paper, in her own words, what she really thought about each parenting option. What she wrote showed that she was truly thinking about her parenting options rather than defaulting to the decision she walked in the door with: abortion.
On her worksheet, Kaswine wrote, “I can’t afford the baby, but I don’t want to kill the baby.” She also wrote that she came in thinking her boyfriend had the right to make the decision, but changed her mind that it needed to be her making the decision. Originally Kaswine was giving her power to her boyfriend, but after talking to Bonnie she realized she could take the power back rather than relinquishing it to others.
A year later after her precious baby girl, Kylee, was born, Kaswine recounted her experience with FirstLook.
“I was actually searching online for an abortion clinic, and FirstLook came up,” said Kaswine. “I went in thinking that’s what it was, and the sweet lady was like, ‘No honey, that is an option, but there are other options too.’ Sometimes you want to hear from God, but He uses other people. And so it was a good time where He actually used somebody else to confirm what I already knew. I was just scared to take that step to go ahead and have my child. She confirmed that I was pregnant. I busted out crying! And she was like, ‘It’s going to be okay. You can do this.’ Sometimes you need to hear you can do it. And when she said it, I actually believed her. I was looking up abortion clinics, and FirstLook popped up, and I was like, okay it’s far enough out where I won’t see anyone I know, but it’s close enough where I won’t get lost. And when I went in, it was just very cozy feeling, and I was like, I thought abortion clinics were supposed to be cold and kind of sterile and things of that nature. They asked how I was feeling and they were actually interested in how I was feeling. They made me comfortable enough to actually respond and say, ‘Not a good day today.’”
Today, Kaswine and Kylee are both doing very well. They will always be very special to FirstLook. Kaswine has started school again to become a Radiology Tech, but is taking it very slowly so she is still able to be with Kylee and watch her grow. Kaswine’s parents were always supportive of her parenting and help her care for sweet baby Kylee.
Watch a video testimony of Kaswine’s story here: https://friendsoffirstlook.org/stories/kaswines-story/